Big Gurl On Campus

Laudanum, Chloral Hydrate, and Chloroform, Oh My!

2009-12-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

As I stepped out of the transportation balloon, my Victorian-style dress flowing about my feet, I gazed up at the immense and eerie building standing before me that was the House of Usher. Not really knowing what to expect, I was glad to see Roderick come out of the front door minutes after my arrival. He welcomed my classmate, Eliot Ellison, and I into the house to meet his sister Madeline. We walked in, and Madeline greeted us. She and Roderick made a few remarks about how the house was in bad condition and how the basement was filthy and basically off-limits, and then we moved into the library.

I was trying to get a jumpstart on my “Usher Task” which was to find out why Madeline was ill, so I started a private IM conversation with the woman herself. I asked her if I would be able to ask her a few questions to which she responded yes as long as they did not “tire her excessively.” The conversation continued as follows:

[12:31] Jessi Claremont: yes i was just wondering how long ago you began to feel tired or ill

[12:31] Madeline Reanimator: Oh I am so weary I can hardly remember, let me think

[12:31] Madeline Reanimator: I believe Roderick may know, he has helped with my medication

[12:32] Madeline Reanimator: It seems a lifetime but possibly only a few months

[12:32] Madeline Reanimator: It began with nightmares

[12:32] Madeline Reanimator: I am sorry, I tire too easily, I must go rest now

[12:33] Jessi Claremont: thank you so much. Please rest.

Although I was grateful for the small amount of information she gave me as to what she was sick with, I was still not satisfied nor did I have a sufficient answer. While Madeline and I had been secretly conversing, Roderick was showing Eliot the library and dining room. I joined them and began to press Roderick for more answers as he expressed anguish over his sister’s condition.

[12:35] Jessi Claremont: when did this begin roderick?

[12:35] Roderick Reanimator: in early fall

[12:35] Roderick Reanimator: I first saw her [sleepwalking] in the corridors

[12:35] Roderick Reanimator: then it became more frequent

[12:35] Roderick Reanimator: and she was clearly ill

[12:36] Jessi Claremont: what do the doctors treat her for?

To this last question, Roderick responded angrily that the doctor wanted to take Madeline to the hospital for vivisection. He suggested, in more or less words, that Madeline was nothing more than a study project for the doctor and his students, and it was for that reason that Roderick would not call the doctor in. Instead, Roderick had been treating Madeline himself. I became suspicious at this last piece of information and decided to investigate more when I had the chance.

After this discussion, Roderick showed Eliot and I to our bedrooms. He left us to go sleep, and that is when I began my stealthy perusal of the house and chambers. After getting help from another one of the Ushers’ guests, Margaret Michalski, I started searching the upstairs chambers for clues on what exactly Madeline was being treated for. I had gathered that her illness was characterized by fatigue and sleepwalking, so I assumed Roderick would have administered some sort of sleeping aid to his ailing sister. The first clue that I found was a note in Roderick’s bedroom that read as follows:

5 Nov. Nothing gained with laudanum. Will try the C.H. I obtained.

6 Nov. Choral Hydrate: Have attempted nearly 30 grains without a cure. What of the doctor's new medicine, this Chloroform? What Dosage?

I did some research and found that, while he had misspelled the drug’s name, Roderick had been using a sedative called Chloral Hydrate to help keep Madeline not ambulatory while she slept. The drug was widely abused in the late 19th century, and it was used specifically for insomniacs. When taken in high dosages though the drug can cause depressed respiration and blood pressure. Confusion, convulsions, severe drowsiness, slow and irregular breathing, cardiac arrhythmia and weakness mark an overdose of chloral hydrate. Although I was slightly alarmed by the amount he gave her, I understand why Roderick would think to use the chloral hydrate; however, his use of laudanum perplexed me. Laudanum is a very potent painkiller, and no one had mentioned to me that she had been experiencing any pain. This information was troubling to me, but I moved on seeing as he was no longer using this dangerous medication. The last part of the note gave small mention to Roderick’s thoughts on chloroform. This was yet another sleeping aid he was thinking of administering to Madeline, but this is one drug that is considered hazardous. Chloroform’s primary use is anesthetic. If Roderick gave any chloroform to Madeline without the knowing the correct dosage, the effects could be near fatal.

After Roderick's room, I went down to the "off-limits" cellar but had no luck in finding anything worth my time. I came across one note, but I couldn't find any of significance in it, so it was discarded. When I came up from the cellar, Roderick was crying to Eliot about how Madeline had died in the night. After some discussion it became clear what had happened. Roderick had gone looking for Madeline in the middle of the night and saw her sleepwalking. She fell to the ground, and when Roderick ran over to see if she was okay, Madeline's skin was cold, she wasn't breathing and her pulse was untraceable. Roderick had decided to bury her in the family crypt, which is where she laid while we were having our discussion. I remembered that some side-effects of a chloral hydrate overdose were slowed breathing and low blood pressure, two things that gave explanation for Madeline's cold skin and undetectable pulse. However, I said nothing.

Mid-sentence, Roderick stopped, claiming that he had heard a scream. Eliot and I suggested we find its source, and so began our wild goose chase in the cellar chambers. We followed Roderick, who had, of course, drawn a pistol, into the family crypt. In the center lay a black coffin where the screams were coming from. Roderick opened it, and out popped Madeline (surprise!).

The conversation that followed was confusing even to me as a present observer. It began:

[13:20] Roderick Reanimator: sister!

[13:20] Madeline Reanimator: Roderick how could you do this to me?

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: you..you

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: seemed dead!

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator backs away

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: and you hear

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: the dull crunch

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: of my foot

[13:21] Madeline Reanimator: AaAaaAaahhHhHhHhh!!11one!

[13:21] Roderick Reanimator: going though old dry bones

[13:21] Madeline Reanimator: you have destroyed me Roderick!

[13:22] Roderick Reanimator: No sister...please

[13:22] Roderick Reanimator: I didn't want the doctor to take your body away

[13:22] Madeline Reanimator: could you not wait until I was cold and dead to bury me?

[13:22] Madeline Reanimator: My only friend, only family, only hope in the world

It was about this time that Madeline fled the scene. Roderick cried about how she would never forgive him and ran after her. Eliot and I followed him to the upstairs where we found Madeline. She proceeded to beg both Eliot and I to help her leave the house. Initially we both replied no, because we didn't really know what to do. But then Madeline said this to me:

[13:26] Madeline Reanimator: Jessi I appeal to your senses as a member of our finer sex

[13:26] Madeline Reanimator: please release me from this continuous torment and take me from here!

Honestly? How could I refuse? I agreed, and we both ran to the transportation balloon. It was about this time that Roderick came out of the front of the house and ended the simulation.

From my experience and research, I have two guesses as to what Madeline was ill with. The more plausible and concrete hypothesis I have come up with is simply somnambulism caused by night terrors. Madeline told me that the illness began with nightmares, and Roderick informed that shortly after the nightmares started, she began sleepwalking. The amounts of medication that her unqualified brother gave to her caused her fatigue, and eventually it is what caused her to appear dead when she collapsed. My second guess is simply she was possessed by a demon that lived within the haunted walls of the House of Usher. I think I like my first explanation better though.

To answer my beta-test task, which was what props would help the Ushers avoid disaster, I suggest a more secure crypt. I was surprised at how easily accessible the coffin room was when I first went exploring by myself. I think I may have in fact unleashed Madeline before she was supposed to be revealed (sorry!). If there was some sort of locked door, or even just a lock on the coffin so that these mistakes could not happen with future role players, I think disaster may easily be prevented.

Overall, I enjoyed this experience. The actors who played Roderick and Madeline during my experience were exceptionally rehearsed and really kept me on my toes. Although the extra work has given me a little more stress, I would most definitely support the use of this project in future 103 classes. And to those future students I say, Good Luck! This final SL project just may be the death of you...

Take Me Back, Nancy Drew!

2009-11-11T12:12:00.000-08:00

First let me say that I would never want to be a participant in an Edgar Allan Poe story, specifically "The Fall of the House of Usher." While I can respect Poe's works as timeless horror stories that are well known and frequently analyzed, I can also recognize that his style is not my particular cup of tea. I don't watch scary movies, I hated telling ghost stories around the campfire, and on halloween I am always the friend dressed as a fairy or a bunny amongst the mummies and zombies. Let me put it this way: Nancy Drew books gave me nightmares when I was 11 years old. But after reading Poe, Miss Drew wasn't looking half bad.

So it's pretty clear that I am a HUGE fan of happy endings. If I was forced to be a participant in "Usher," my first hope would be that the ending would be happy. However, I feel a happy ending to a story like "Usher" would completely demolish the fearsome quality the story possesses. So out of respect, I would not change the ending.

After much thought about preserving a good horror story I have decided that I would change where Madeleine was buried. I think that if Roderick and the narrator had buried her in a place that was inescapable in the first place then there would have been no chance of Madeleine later reappearing. Instead of both the Usher twins dying, only Madeleine would have been guaranteed dead (and let's be honest, she had one foot in the coffin from the beginning). The worst part of the story for me by far was when Madeleine reappeared to Roderick and the Narrator. My alteration would eliminate this part, thus saving me from days of nightmares.

Fortunately I am not and never will be a participant in this frightful tale. Unfortunately I will never be able to forget the image that appeared in my head when I read the ending of "Usher." I hope you're happy Poe.

I'm tryna find the words to describe this world without being disrespectfullll...

2009-11-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to say it: I was a skeptic. When I found out that I was in an English class that would be dealing with what I thought at the time was just a video game for grown-ups, I was extremely uneasy. The only image I had seen of SL previous to my English 103 class was the portrayal of the world on a crime scene investigation show. That show had made it seem like this dangerous and shady place, which made me feel a little less than secure. Now after having been through the world myself and exploring the different educational and recreational activities you can participate in I know that my initial assumptions were incorrect. However, the problem is still evident.

The biggest problem SL faces as a communications technology is the unappealing light it has been portrayed in in Hollywood and the resulting image "non-SLers" gain from these shows. I know first hand because I was one of them. I think a lot of people are hesitant to join worlds such as SL because they are afraid that they too will end up with a stalker or worse. There are a lot of skeptics out there, and I think that unless Linden Lab makes more effort to put SL in a more positive, less "serial-killer" type light then it will slowly begin to die out.

So please Linden Lab! Get on this! God forbid millions of successful 30 somethings lose their escape from the hectic business world! They NEED Second Life!!

Big Gurl goes to Heritage Key

2009-11-03T14:09:00.000-08:00

Big Gurl in the Tour Balloon

This past week I downloaded the second virtual world ever to reside in my computer, Heritage Key. After naming my avatar, Big Gurl, and adding the program to my applications, I entered into the HK world. I was immediately aware of the vast difference in graphics between HK and SL. Everything in HK was frequently re-rezzing itself and it was all gray and boring. It simply was not up to the caliber of SL. Once I got over the dreadful scenery, I noticed my avatar's appearance. It was worse than the graphics. I looked like a middle-aged, chain-smoking, has five kids under the age of eight mother. Being used to the typical tall, thin and clear-skinned avatar of my SL account, I instantly set to work on changing Big Gurl's "look." After literally 30 minutes of toying with the shape of her face and the height of her hair (by the way, who thought of those adjustments??), I was barely satisfied. Big Gurl had blonde hair, was taller and thinner than the haggard mom she started as, and had somewhat of a cute outfit on. Still, the appearance adjustments were not even half the quality of those in SL.

Then I began to walk. Walking was a joke. I could barely go three steps without getting caught in that awkward "i'm a newb" half flying-half falling position. When I tried sitting to escape that stance, this is what happened to me:

Needless to say I was embarrassed. I tried to stand up and this is what happened:

I was getting more and more frustrated, especially since two other avatars, one named Viv Trafalgar and the other, I believe, was RightasRain , had entered the room. They definitely knew I was a first time HK-er. One of them asked me if I knew I was in the floor. Humiliated, I replied yes. In vain, they attempted to help me out of the ground, but I wasn't able to un-stick myself until i tried sitting and standing up multiple times. I did finally get out of the ground, but that was not the end of my issues. My cute appearance had evaporated, leaving me with green legs and a gray torso and face.

Basically, Heritage Key was awful. I was really disappointed with its performance, and I wasn't even that impressed with King Tut's tomb. The program repeatedly logged me out, so by the time I arrived at the tomb I was too frustrated to take any pictures. Thank god we only have one assignment in this subpar world.

How Bizarre, How Bizarre

2009-10-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

On October 19, 2009 at 12 a.m. EST, I attended my first ever Burning Life event. It was the DJ Sporty Event where avatars were invited to "chill, and enjoy some mellow tunes." Sounds fun and totally harmless right? Well it was, but when I first got there, I'm not going to lie, I was intimidated. Here is what I saw:

I was in a large tent-like structure that had an open circle in the center (see above) and a stage off to the left. I walked over to the circle and claimed the first available seat I saw. There were a few people there when I first arrived so I wasn't as nervous at the beginning. People were sitting and chatting, one girl was dancing to the bumpin' beats, and I was thinking how this wouldn't be so bad. However, when the chat changed from how awesome the tunes were to how everyone wanted to start drinking I became a little uneasy. I decided to remove myself from the situation and explore the perimeter of the tent. It was lined with intriguing pieces of art. I walked around the whole thing and took a picture of my favorite one.

It was a metallic mannequin that changed position every two seconds or so. I don't think it had any politic meaning, I just thought it looked cool. Anyways more people started to arrive so I decided to test out my chatting skills. I asked if it was alright if I took pictures and everyone said yes, but that was all I asked. I couldn't think of anything else to say. So instead I took pictures of all the avatars dancing to songs like Bad to the Bone and Balinese by ZZ Top.

I tried to take a picture of the center circle since more avatars had congregated there and had started dancing, but when I tried to take it this is what I ended up with:

I didn't realize until after I had taken the picture that there was a large keg in the corner, something I'm sure Linden Lab wouldn't want advertised on anyone's blog since minors were present.

Overall, Burning Life was a good and bizarre experience. It was my first SL experience with a lot of other avatars, and I liked it. It made it feel more like world and less like a video game. I might even attend another event before it ends, but we will see.

Burning Anticipation

2009-10-20T06:47:00.000-07:00

Today in English 103 I learned about an event in SL called Burning Life. It is SL's version of a real life desert retreat called Burning Man. Although I cannot at this point describe exactly what it is going to be like, from Dr. Essid's description, the Burning Life retreat sounds pretty incredible. The pictures from last year's Burning Life that Dr. Essid showed in class were thought-provoking and unique. He talked about there being truly remarkable art exhibits with political pieces and beautiful portraits. He also mentioned there being events with music where the avatars mingle and dance; that is the type of event I would like to go to. There is an event on the 19th of October at 9 p.m. (aka 12 am) that I am hoping to attend. It is labeled "DJ Sporty," and it is described as basically a relaxing art exhibit with music and dancing. In other words, I'm SO there. I'll make sure to take some pictures and tell you all about it when I get back.

Note: I wrote this last thursday and waited to post it until after I went to the event.

Better Late Than Never

2009-10-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

I am about a week overdue in posting this, but I wanted to post my findings in my second SL scavenger hunt. I was much more at ease when I began this excursion because I have become more accustomed to SL controls. Since there were less required locations to visit, I chose places that were more of my interest. I went to random places (as shown below) and practiced my flying and reclining skills.

Then, after messing around with my appearance for a little and FINALLY figuring out how to change my hair color, I decided to go to SL's version of Vassar College.

The reason I chose to transport myself there was because in the description there was mentioned a Sistine Chapel replica. Naturally, I had to see it.

I transported myself there and was absolutely amazed. It was beautiful, and although SL still does not look like real life to me I can appreciate the masterful creation made by Vassar College and whoever else worked on this. Along the walls of the Sistine Chapel replica were tapestries which I also though were gorgeous. I took pictures of both, of course.

I think that because I was the one choosing the places to go I was much more curious and interested. I feel that this second scavenger hunt was a greater learning experience for me particularly because I was on my own. I really enjoyed this scavenger hunt, and I hope you all feel some of the enjoyment I had with my pictures.

The "I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" Post

2009-10-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

This is a special post. It is a post that I will hopefully only have to write once, and it is a post that requires a little background information. So here goes…

At the beginning of the semester my English professor, Dr. Essid, introduced us to “The Brick.” It is something feared far and wide, specifically in Essid’s English 103 classes, and it is awarded to students who make unsupported claims or glittering generalizations in their blogs or on their wikis. These students who make such careless mistakes are then to carry around The Brick until they have supported their claim or “unpacked” their generalization. That being said, Dr. Essid recently collected all the journals of my classmates and me and graded all of our blog posts and wiki projects. After about a week’s worth of anticipation, I finally received an email from Dr. Essid, the final report on my projects. I got a pretty good grade for being in ruthless Essid’s class, but as I neared the end of the email I came upon a sentence that made my stomach drop. It read: “Your claim merits the Brick for an unsupported assertion.” Thus, I became the first member of my class to receive the dreaded Brick.

The claim that Dr. Essid was referring to was the last sentence in my Ansel Adams project. The sentence reads: “A picture is most definitely worth a thousand words, but hardly one emotion.” My explanation is simply this: I cared too much for the poetic, parallel structure of my concluding statement then I did for avoiding an unsupported assertion. I sincerely apologize that my conclusion came off in that way for I did not mean to muddy the pristine waters of my class’ wiki website. Even though I am sorry you feel that way, Dr. Essid, I know that it was my lack of specification that caused this problem. For example, “This picture is most definitely worth a thousand words, but hardly one emotion” would have been sufficient because it instantly removes the broad generalization. I also could have, no should have, chosen a conclusion that was just as poetic but not as general. The best way for me to have written this sentence I think is “It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. This picture is most definitely worth a thousand words, but it hardly stirs up one emotion.”

Again, I am sorry. This will hopefully be the last time I have to explain myself, and I will most definitely be more careful with my prose in future projects.

I'm the biggest boss that you've seen thus far.

2009-09-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

A "boss" is someone who is the best and most dominating participant in any sort of activity. So generally speaking, I am the biggest boss in everything I do. Well, perhaps not everything, but I am certainly good at a number of activities. For instance, I can read well, text quickly, and beat at least five people I know in a foot race. There is one activity, however, that I am most definitely not a boss of yet. In fact, I might go so far as to call myself a “newb” in this category. I am, of course talking about Second Life. I could make excuses for my lack of knowledge about this world, like I've only been Second Life for about two weeks, but I know that my questions are due to the fact that I am technologically challenged. My main question is so simple it is embarassing: how do I change the appearance of my avatar?? I have read numerous articles and watched videos that are meant to teach me how to do this, but I still am unable to make my avatar's hair blonde! It is incredibly frustrating, and I feel as if I will never figure it out. I get so caught up in my frustration sometimes that I often will claim that, "This world is impossible to maneuver! I will never figure it out!" I sincerely, sincerely hope that this is an incorrect claim, and that sooner than later I will be able to give my avatar some golden locks.

Toto, we're not in high school anymore...

2009-09-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

"Ignorance is not an excuse." Those are the words that were branded in my brain from the beginning of orientation here at the University of Richmond. When it comes to plagiarism at UR, ignorance is no excuse. When I was in high school plagiarism and paraphrasing were most definitely not taken lightly, but there were certain situations where it could be...overlooked. I still had a bibliography at the end of every paper and knew MLA citations down to a T, but if I had made a small mistake teachers generally just took a point or two off my final grade. I don't know why, but I'm pretty sure that if I make those same mistakes here I would get more than a few points deducted.

I think that even with those few "acts of kindness" on the behalf of my teachers I am already pretty well educated in the art of citing. Since being here, I have experienced my first college paper and seen that what's expected is different, but I know I can adjust. In high school, the main sources I used were passages from primary sources, which are exactly what I will be using with my Core papers. However, in both my International Relations and English classes, I am sure I will be using other sources, such as academic papers and periodicals. I have had some experience with those sources, yet I feel that I am going to have to become a bit more rehearsed in that method. For now, I will rely on my previous knowledge from high school, and I think with some practice, some trial and error, I will be able to become a great college level writer.

SL Scavenger Hunt

2009-09-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

This week in SL we had to participate in a scavenger hunt. In small groups, we were given lists of landmarks we were to visit and take pictures of. My group and I split the list up and went our separate ways to explore the SL World.

My first stop was my professor's house/office on Richmond Island in SL. I always love going to my professor's office because it is in such an unexpected place: the sky. I also think it is cool that he has an office in SL, because if I am for some reason unable to get to his real life office, I can just pop into his SL domain to get the help I need. It is a little hard to believe because a floating house is unrealistic, but that does not bother me. I still like it there.

Professor Essid's Second Life House

Next, I teleported myself to the International Spaceflight Museum. By the way, that is one of my new skills, teleportation. I'm a pro now ;). Anyways the museum was great. I found out you can get on a space shuttle and go into outer space from there. How awesome is that? It's perfect for someone like me who knows they would never get a space shuttle but is still curious about the solar system. I walked around and attempted to talk to a few passersby but failed miserably. Overall though I thought the International Spaceflight Museum was the most interesting of all the places I visited.

International Spaceflight Museum

Although I had five places to visit overall, including The Theorists Project and the University of Caledon Oxbridge, I ended up back at the University of Richmond Island. I am most comfortable on this island for it is where I can recognize the most landmarks. There is a building that looks eerily similar to the Tyler Hanes Commons, and a number of buildings that tend to freak me out because I feel like I am looking at the real thing. Throughout all my travels I mastered the art of taking a snapshot (and asking peoples permission to take snapshots), and I am beginning to feel as though I know my way around SL. If anything I have the tools to get to where I want to go now. The scavenger hunt was not only fun, but very useful in helping me continue my learning of the SL world.

University of Richmond Island

The name's Caroline, but you can call me Jessi Claremont.

2009-09-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

Second Life is a world that revolves around one main concept: identity. It's a place where people can escape to, where a 5' 2" 130-pound boy can gallivant about as a 6'4" 250-pound superhero, and where a caucasian can experience life as an african-american. It is where a typically shy individual can spread his or her wings and find an entire new world of friends and confidants. Second Life can further emphasize a person's personality traits, or it could change them altogether. Identity can be a shield and, here, it can even be a tool.

When choosing my title I had one criteria, which was that it should be a gender neutral name. The first name that popped into my head was Jesse. I began to try a choose a last name to fit with that name (everything from Wetherby to Popstar), but because Jesse was such a popular first name, I was forced to switch the spelling from an "e" to an "i." This forced concession however worked in my favor because the last name that eventually worked out, which was Claremont, looks much better to me with the "i" ending before it rather than the "e."

I am still getting used to the fact that there are now two of me. I haven't made many changes to the Second Life me, mostly because I have no idea how to change things about me, but I have figured out how to change her outfit. She was born in this ridiculous 80's looking dress that had to go, so now she sports ripped jeans and a tiny Richmond t-shirt. I like her, and although she is technically me I am still getting to know her. This is just the beginning of our relationship.

Transition to College Writing

2009-09-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

My first few sessions of English 103, Introduction to Expository Writing, with Professor Joe Essid have felt like a splash of cold water in my face. I realized that although I did work hard on all my high school papers and usually received high marks for the work I'd done, I was given a larger margin for error and a lot more help when I encountered obstacles than I will receive here.

Initially I was worried; as I thought about it more and more and read Hjortshoj's discussion on common college student errors though, I have become more at ease. I am guilty of some of the errors that Hjortshoj mentions, like the five-paragraph footstool and the single draft final paper, but I am also a hard worker. I think that with the help of English 103 and Professor Essid I am going to be able to leave those bad habits behind.